Handling Conflict and Finding Resolution

Handling conflict and finding resolution is no easy task.

It takes communicating openly and honestly while avoiding blame, criticism, and personal attacks.

That word. Conflict.

I feel myself curling up into a tight little ball inside. It’s an immediate pit in my stomach.

I detest conflict. I avoid conflict. I look for ways to work around conflict.

I like everyone to be happy.

Does anyone really like conflict? Okay you rebels. So maybe there’s a few out there who do thrive on it. Nope. Not me. Sorry I can’t jump on your bandwagon.

There’s all sorts of books and articles and advice on how to handle conflict.

Here’s the biggest truth I know about it. We all have it.

Everyone faces conflict. It can be little and easily navigated.

Or it can be complicated and a trial to negotiate a peaceful outcome.

No matter your reason for conflict or how you currently deal with it, here’s what I’ve learned.

The best way through it, is through it.

Real conflict resolution is simply that: finding resolution.

Let’s pause for a moment and identify what it is about conflict we shy away from.

1. Fear of the unknown. When faced with conflict my greatest concern is that I can’t guarantee the outcome.
2. Fear of performance. I’m afraid, I’ll do the wrong thing, make the wrong decision, say the wrong thing. I’m afraid I’ll make it worse.
3. Fear of feelings: I’m afraid of how the other person will feel about me personally.

We cannot forget to take the human element into account. When dealing with conflict resolution we must remember we are both people.

And we both have valid feelings. I don’t like people being mad at me. In the face of conflict I can psych myself out with fear forgetting who I am and the skills that I posses to face the situation head on.

Conflict isn’t about fighting. It’s about navigating two differing points of view to come to a place of compromise for the benefit of both.

Get prepared, but don’t stress yourself out. It helps me compose my thoughts by writing them down.

While I believe that conflict is best dealt with face to face, getting your words out in writing can help you sort them out first.

Handling Conflict and Finding Resolution

Here are 20 tips on overcoming conflict and finding resolution.

• Take a step back and assess the conflict objectively.
• Listen to the other person and repeat back what you heard to ensure you understand.
• Try to identify the underlying cause of the conflict.
• Communicate openly and honestly.
• Avoid blaming, criticism, and personal attacks.
• Don’t let emotions take over; try to remain calm and composed.
• Respect the other person and their views, even if you don’t agree.
• Consider different perspectives and be open to compromise.
• Take the time to really understand the other person’s point of view.
• Speak from your own experience and feelings.
• Avoid making assumptions and jumping to conclusions.
• Discuss solutions that could work for both parties.
• Focus on the present and the future, not on past grievances.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you can’t reach a resolution.
• Don’t be afraid to agree to disagree and move on.
• Stay focused on the issue, not on personalities.
• Establish ground rules for productive dialogue.
• Show empathy and understanding.
• Take responsibility for your part in the conflict.
• Be willing to work together to find a solution that works for both sides.

How do you best handle conflict?

xoxo Naomi