8 Ways to Support Others in a Difficult Time

Life can take unexpected turns. Unfortunately, we all go through tough times. Life can definitely get messy! A friend’s encouragement and support through these times can mean the world. I hope these 8 ways to support others in a difficult time will be encouraging to you!

Our Story

In November, of 2019, my husband had surgery for a patellar tendon rupture. Seven weeks into our marriage we were facing our first real challenge together. Little did either of us know just what a challenge it would turn out to be. I wore a top on the day of his surgery that says “Wifey for Lifey.” I love it and I LOVE being a wifey!!! And ALL that it entails. When you’re in the glow of the honeymoon stage and when you go through tough times.

There’s something so sweet about getting to be a wife. I‘m honored to be Nick’s partner. To be the ONE he chose. To walk through all the moments of life together no matter what they may bring. Not knowing what they will bring.

It’ll sound odd but I’m thankful that this happened after we got married. It means that I can help, support and serve my husband. I’m not trying to make it sounds easy or simple, because believe me it’s not! I’m thankful that I can be here for him and be his partner in life.

RELATED: The Art of Slowing Down to Listen

A few days after the surgery I needed to go into work and get a few things done for our church service on Sunday. On my way I went through the ‪Starbucks‬ drive thru. Ordinary enough right?

Except on that morning it was anything but ordinary for me. I was four days into one of the worst colds I’ve ever had. I’d taken several days off to be home with Nick post surgery. Ironically enough I got sick the day of his surgery and spent the better part of that week in bed.

So treating myself to ‪coffee‬ on my way into the office to get some essential work done was a must!

It’s what happened next that made my day.

My app to pay wasn’t loading and as my drink was being made the barista and I chatted. He handed me my drink and told me it was on the house! I was feeling crummy. It was Nick’s first week post surgery. I was also feeling a little isolated. This simple act of kindness meant the world to me in that moment.

So a week later I paid it forward and paid for the person in the drive thru behind me. I hope it made their day.

Little did I know that our journey would take an even greater turn. Four weeks post-surgery Nick developed a blood clot, a week later after a thrombectomy to remove the clot, he had an unfortunate complication called compartment syndrome. This meant he needed an emergency fasciotomy that same day and a three-night hospital stay.

As we go through this season together, and the keyword is together, it’s brought us closer and strengthened our marriage. We’ve leaned on each other. Supported each other. Encouraged each other. It takes compassion, kindness, patience and selflessness on both our parts.

Going through these past few months has made me realize how important it is to be there for people when you can. It’s also made me realize to not have my life so full that I can’t reach out to a friend who’s going through a tough time. For every person who has been there for us in this season even the little things have been impactful. Here are 8 ways to support others in a difficult time.

8 Ways to Support Others in a Difficult Time

There’s no cookie-cutter solution to helping someone else through a tough time. I hope this list of ideas will be helpful as you seek to support others going through tough times.

Be the first to offer help

One of the most difficult things to do when you are going through a hard time is to ask for help. When a friend reaches out first and offers genuine help it alleviates that hurdle. We often want to ask for help, but it can feel awkward and humbling. When we are in a delicate state it can add to the stress we are already feeling.

Be the first to reach out and offer help. You may not know what they need so try giving them a few ideas of things you can do. This gives them tangible offers, not just a blanket “if you need help let me know”. End by asking if there is a specific way you can bless them.

Bring comfort with food and drinks

There are so many little things that will mean the world to them. Bring them a meal. Having people make us dinner for the first few days we were home from the hospital was amazing. I can’t describe the sense of relief and gratitude I had when we were offered meals.

Bring them a coffee, tea or smoothie. Bringing someone their favorite drink can be an instant day maker. There’s something so soothing about it and it instantly communicates that you are care for them.

Lend a helping hand

Run some errands. Go grocery shopping for them. Even if you just go pick up the basics. Milk, eggs, bread… Have their car washed or even detailed for them. Something about having a clean car makes your life feel a lot more in order and can bring some calm in the midst of chaos.

Help with the household chores. Do their laundry or their dishes. I’d say this one is probably for close friends, but it’s all those simple household tasks that start adding up. We had friends over for lunch recently and afterwards they did the dishes. Simple, but it was such a kindness.

Lend a listening ear

Sometimes all we can do is let people know we are there for them. Our very presence can be healing. Sit with them, be there and listen to them. This one is about being present. Listen to listen.

Hold back your advice and problem solving skills. Be there for with compassion and kindness. While you may have great advice this is the time to simply hear them. What they need from you is active listening and understanding.

Communicate with them

Write a note. Take a moment and handwrite a note to let them know they are not alone. Share Scripture. Write or text a favorite Bible verse or passage. The Word of God is always uplifting.

Send a YouTube link to an uplifting Worship song. I have a friend who does this often. It’s a simple way to send instant encouragement. Send an uplifting text. A text only takes a moment, but sometimes that moment is all someone needs to know they have support and are being thought of.

Respect their timeline

Everyone’s timeline is different. Let people go through their circumstance or grief at their own pace. Our role is to support and encourage. Emotional and physical healing progresses differently for everyone.

We may have had similar experiences but that doesn’t mean someone will process or recover in the same time frame we did. Let their situation be unique to them and remember you are their to walk beside them however long it may take.

Send them some cheer

Send flowers or an edible arrangement. Flowers brighten and bring cheer to any situation. Flowers make me such a happy girl! They make my home feel extra homey and peaceful.

Pray for them!

More importantly than anything else you can do for someone, you can pray for them. Lift them before the Lord. Cover them in prayer. There is nothing more powerful!

Use these 8 ways to support others in a difficult time so that you can be a source of encouragement to those struggling with tough times. Would you add anything to this list? What’s a simple act of kindness you could show someone this week?

xoxo Naomi